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and confusion. Am reading Harriet Martineau's Autobiography. She seems a woman of remarkable sincerity of character as well as of ability and an aptitude for general affairs. Still I think I detect a little vaingloriousness in her extreme independence and apparent indifference to praise and distinction

Tuesday July 6" 1885. An extremely hot day and with it the depression I almost always feel in hot weather when I seem disinclined to any effort. My father has seemed very feeble the past two days. The old, unsettled discouraged feeling is upon me and I am able to see how all my trouble seems to come from anxieties about money. I have a helpless feeling at such times and a timidity that I cannot help. I hear nothing more of the purchase of our place. That would give me new life and I would feel that I could start anew and somewhat upon the simpler plan of life which I always proposed to myself. Now I have too many interests to look after with the limited means we have and if we could simplify our life by getting into smaller quarters I am so sure we would all be happier that my whole time is taken up thinking of it - Downing and Jones went by the morning train. I drove them down to the ferry. No word from Lucy who expected to be here about this time. 

Wednesday 7". I awoke with a sense that something decisive would occur today. I had a talk with Girard about going to see Cantine and trying if possible to get an offer through him from Sam for our place. I did go down town and saw him, and found out that Sam and Cornell are so involved in their quarrel that it would be unwise to broach the subject and am convinced that until there is some settlement of their differences (which Cantine told me Sam said, could not go on longer in this way and that they would have to be settled now) Sam is in no condition to buy our place. It was a relief to me after all to come to this conclusion for I have been pondering how to open the subject to him. Now I shall trouble myself no more on this head but look for relief in some other direction. Disappointing as this is it is nevertheless a relief to know this much. I am inclined to think there will be great trouble between them and Sam may any day want to come here. On the other hand circumstances may so shape that he will not want it at all. It has been a very hot day and my father has suffered from it. He did not want to go to bed and sat up until ten o'clock. Now I am going to try to think of my art if possible. 

Thursday 8". A warm night but the North wind was blowing when I awoke and we have had an agreeable day. I worked in the garden for a while. We had a letter from Lucy written June 28". They were on the eve of starting and were to be in San Francisco on Sunday July 4". Were to stop at their new post Fort Fred Steele for a day on their way home. We will probably see them some time next week. The Detroit people (Hanna & Ives) do not take the slightest notice of my letters. 

Friday 9. A very comfortable day. I got up at 4 oclock and worked in the garden until dinner time and accomplished a good deal of hoeing which was necessary to be done. It seems small business for me when I might be doing some thing of much more importance. I find on looking in the map Fort Fred Steele is in Wyoming 694 miles west of Omaha and at an elevation of nearly 7000 feet. From the description in the guide book there is an interesting country county near the foot which seems to be on one of the sources of the North Platte river - Yesterday I packed up and sent to Mrs Sawyer two of my dear Gertrudes blue muslin wrappers which Sara thought would be useful to her. They looked so like her and seemed so a part of her that I could in imagination see just how she used to look in them      

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