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Saturday July 31" 1886. Drove with my father down town to do some errands. After I returned I put a new glass on Thompsons Elaine which fell down a day or two ago and broke. This afternoon in cleaning the stalls of the horses with the hose I discovered the drain from them had become stopped and Tom and I had a most disagreeable job in getting it clear in the course of which I had to plunge into all sorts of disagreeables and scented myself up well. The nipple of the hose was lost and it seems as though every thing I do not personally look after goes to destruction. I am tired to death of all this care and worry and see no immediate release from it. Mary and Calvert came up with the Powell and now we have a family of ten. I can realize now my poor mothers labors and anxieties every summer with a house full of people and with limited resources. I saw it then and always grieved that I could not lighten her burdens more than I was able to.  I am glad to go to my bed and sorry when the day comes again with all its troubles and perplexities.

Sunday Aug. 1" 1886

I feel so depressed and unquiet. I think the curse of having so large a household to provide for with my scanty means makes me timid and anxious. I cannot enter into the friskiness of young people which I regret, as I would like to be able to give them a good time if I could. They cannot understand my troubles and naturally think me morose and severe. It is hard for me to affect any thing like gaiety and hilarity when I am so harried and perplexed- I wrote to Mary Gifford today and sent her Weirs letter. Wrote to Pinchot at Milford asking him to send me a check for the picture ($400) by the 9" inst.  

Monday 2". Cool and delightful with wind from N.W. I propose to note the weather each day this month. My observation for several years leads me to consider August a cool month and I want to particularly note this month. Sara went down by the Powell this morning to visit Mrs. Knight at Willets Point. She needs rest and recreation. I heard Tom drive off. It rained last night and the weather was doubtful when she started but came off fine and cool. I have felt a little more quiet today. I have only smoked once a day for several days and today not at all. I think I will not smoke at present until I feel a little less disturbed, for although I am a very moderate smoker I think perhaps it aggravates a tendency to nervousness and unquiet.
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Tuesday 3". More like October than August. It snowed a few minutes in Rome Oneida Co. today. My father had a little fire in his stove and did not come down today. I have felt unhappy. Marion and Jamie at the dinner table said something about a lawn tennis ground if I did not object. I said mildly that I did object at which they grew angry and Marion when I wished to talk of it said "no matter. She was going away soon" I told Jamie later I would not object if he wanted to do it, that my objections were on account of the confusion and the noise it brought which was not desirable as his grandfather had to sit on the porch. Marion will brook nothing from me. Her father indulges her every whim and I presume she thinks I ought to. I presume the young people will dislike me, and I am sorry for that, but I cant surrender every thing to them. Calvert went down by the evening train. I had a letter from Janette wanting Sara to come out to visit them. I wrote to Sara and sent her Jannets letter. I wish I were more amiable and less easily troubled. I try to discipline myself in this direction but I do not succeed as I wish I could.
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Wednesday 4" I had rather a sad letter from Mary Gifford last night in which she spoke of being despondent and half discouraged. I wrote her a letter before I went to bed, in which I tried at least to show my sympathy with her. As for me I am as unhappy as I can well be. I seem only to be a servant spending my time in menial pursuits and occupations
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Transcription Notes:
Thompsons Elaine - thinking this might be a painting? . ---------- Reopened for Editing 2023-05-11 10:46:07 ---------- Reopened for Editing 2023-05-11 16:15:16