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hateful to me on account of the demands which I cannot meet. What I want is repose and the command of my time for my art and I am willing to do without everything else. I think Lucy and Andrew are beginning to see what burdens I am obliged to bear. I had a letter from Downing wanting to borrow my tent to take to the Adirondacs. When I wanted one I bought one and I do not like to lend it but will do so. Tom is digging the potatoes, the tops having all died.

Saturday Aug. 21" 1886. The same cool, delightful temperature. Every day I think I will be less irritable but alas! I am easily disturbed and give way to petulance and fitfulness and thus destroy my peace and serenity. I was irritated at Andrews this morning because he spoke as I thought somewhat disparagingly of Genl Grant. It is much better silently to hear such things than to show annoyance and irritation. A letter came from Downing saying he was going to the Adirondacs about Sept. 1" for a fortnight and wanting to borrow my tent. I dont like to lend it but could not refuse Downing so I packed it up and wrote him I would send it Monday. A letter came from Tom McEntee. He had Sara was to visit Janette and that I was going out to bring her home. He wants her to make them a visit and invites both of us very cordially. I also had a sad letter from Booth. He has been spending most of the summer with Laurence Barrett - speaks of his remorse over the remembrance of his folly at the Academy of Music last winter and of his "domestic disappointments" in a way which shows me he is very unhappy. My heart went out to him in pity as I read his letter. He is a man who has always been full of sorrows and yet he has little power to rise from his sufferings, by reason of a sly and somewhat suspicious temperament. He needs a strong, kind and thoroughly truthful nature to lean upon which I think he has not found either in his daughter or her husband. His letter expressed his old regard for me and certainly I feel my regard for him strengthened in his trouble and perplexity. Tom our man informed me this morning that a son was born to him. [[left margin]] Cool and bright [[/left margin]]

Sunday 22. Cool bright day, so cool that although the sun shone brightly I was chilly writing in my room where I 
spent the whole forenoon. I wrote first to Sara, then a long letter to Booth in which I tried to encourage and comfort him and a letter to Tom McEntee. It has been a serene and quiet day to me and I have got through it without any irritations or feelings of discouragement. What creatures of circumstance we are. There was no more reason for my quiet and repose today than most other days and I presume it would have taken but little to have entirely changed the day. [[left margin]] Cool & bright.[[/left margin]]

Monday 23" Mary had a letter from Calvert this morning announcing the death of John H. Platt on Saturday at South Manchester Conn. What a shock to his wife and family. The first time he saw me after dear Gertrudes death he told me that when he heard of it, he never felt so sorry for any one as he did for me. So I feel for his wife for they were comrades as Gertrude and I were. So another of my old friends falls from my side for he was a sincere friend of many years. It has been a troubled day to me, full of discouragement and apprehension. I took my father out for a ride to Kingston after dinner, but there is no pleasure in riding to me. I long for a release from wearing apprehensions and feel as though I would like to escape to some far remote spot where one would need no money and where we would be obliged to have no care and trouble for our daily needs and fancied needs. Mr & Mrs. Cantine called this evening, but it is with an effort I meet any one. I discovered the kitchen drain had become clogged and burst this afternoon and I have that to look to tomorrow, and so my days go by in kindred occupations [[left margin]] Warmer than yesterday but not uncomfortable. Cool evening. [[/left margin]]

Transcription Notes:
Sunday 22 not transcribed as of 5/6 MARGIN NOTES: Next to August 21, 1886: Cool and bright Next to Sunday 22: Cool and bright. Next to Monday 23: Warmer than yesterday but not uncomfortable. Cool evening. ---------- Reopened for Editing 2023-05-11 14:55:12 .