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340

Wednesday Sept. 1" 1886
The summer is gone. I feel a secret satisfaction that the days fly by. Perhaps it is because it brings the time when I hope to make some income by selling my pictures, for there seems to me some vague idea that in the future matters will be better in some way for now there is only a dead level of money and anxiety from morning until night. Sara proposed to me today that she take the place as her own responsibility next year and try to start a curative establishment, at first in a small way and with what facilities we have here. To me this only seems entering upon a new and doubtful enterprise for which I at least am entirely unfitted. My idea is to sell if we can get any thing like a reasonable price, and to that end I am going to see Sam and see what I can do with him.- Jamie and I picked the pears on the other side the road beyond the flag staff, I do not know the species but think they may be Flemish beauties although they are quite russet colored this year. It was a fine cool day with N.W. wind but still a thick smoky atmosphere. We decided to dine at High Falls and had our dinner promptly at 12 and got started 10 minutes before 1 reaching there at 3.30 Andrew, Lucy and a Miss Norton, I presume their daughter, Lily, Aunt Christina looking very well, and Annie. We went by Lucas' turnpike and left about 6.30. Tonight a little talk with Sara after the rest retired, in which we both agreed that we are considered rather hard and close by every one because we are trying to keep out of debt and to save the property. The young people come here to amuse themselves and know nothing of our burdens and anxieties. I confess I can take no part in any gaiety feeling as I do and I know I must seem hard and morose to the young people. Marion I understand feels injured that I objected to a tennis ground, but I objected last year and and her mother felt as I did, but it fell to me to make the objections. So my poor mother used to work and serve a house full of pleasure seekers and wore out her life in kindred anxieties. I could be hospitable but I must first be just and can never enjoy what I have and cannot pay for. This makes a slave and a coward of me
[[left margin]] Cool. Wind N.W. Picked the pears beyond the road beyond the flag staff. [[/left margin]]

Thursday 2" Cool autumnal day. Directly after breakfast I went down town determined to have an interview with Coykendall, to find out whether there was any probability of his buying our place. It was an hour or more before I could see him as I saw Cantine go to his office just as I reached there. When he came out I went in Sam was genial as he always is, but seemed anxious and busy but said he wanted to see me, and so I proceeded directly to business. I told him I wanted to sell him our place. He said he couldnt afford to buy it and gave me to understand he was in a great many enterprises. I told him I did not want but little money and that the Booth mortgage could remain at 4 pct. and intimated that the balance might remain on the same terms. I think that was rather agreeable to him. I told him he could buy it reasonably and he had better not lose the chance by waiting until a part of it was sold, as I should sell when I could. Some one was waiting to see him and he said he would talk with his wife and come up and see me in a few days. I am inclined to think his connection with Cornell is very precarious and that 
[[left margin]] Cool. Chilly evening. Saw S.D.C. [[/left margin]] 

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no [[?]]s ---------- Reopened for Editing 2023-05-12 15:24:18 .