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of its conception of Father, Creator, Director. I have read too somewhat in a volume of Canon Farrars "Eternal Hope" embodying the doctrine of the Universalists. He strikes me as a man of Religious feeling while Arnold seems to be a man of religious culture. I believe in Imagination, sentiment, the Poets conception and that we cannot conceive of goodness and wisdom and Love such as the Creator stands for in his Universe. I try to keep my mind from anxieties and to hope that brighter days are in store for me for I am capable of happiness and hope I may be given the wisdom to find it.

Monday Sept. 6" 1886. Cleaned the two cisterns, a most disagreeable job and which should have been done before. It was my business to go down in them and clean them while Tom carried away the dirt. I found the floor timbers in the bath room very rotten but cannot think of repairing them. I attempted to do it myself but could not. After they were cleaned which took most of the day, put on the hose and filled the bath room cistern and began to fill the other. I am getting too old to do all these things and I was greatly discouraged today. There is something of this sort to be done almost every day.
[[left margin]] Cleaned the cisterns. [[/left margin]]

Tuesday 7" Lucy and Jamie went to N.Y. this morning and Andrews has probably gone this afternoon as he was expecting a telegram and has not come home. I went over to my studio and worked most of the day on my picture. It has seemed most lonesome and forlorn here. A hot dry wind has been blowing and that to me is the most forlorn of all weather. I look about and see so much to discourage me here that I long to be released from all these almost hopeless cares. I have a hope which is not an expectation that Cuykendall may make me an offer for the place. That would give me courage and I do not see what else can for I begin to see that my pictures do not sell as they used to.

Wednesday 8" Andrews who did not come home last night, we supposed had gone to N.Y. He came home early this morning in a condition to give me great anxiety. A telegram came for him to come down tomorrow. I read it to him and begged him not to go off the hill today which he promised not to do. He did slip away however and I dont know where he went, but returned after a little through the garden just after Sedgwick had started down town to look for him. All this revives my experiences with poor Maurice and shows me what anxieties Lucy has. The day has been most dreary and sad to me. A hot South wind has blown and everything has seemed about as discouraging as possible. Sara went up to Mrs. Hess' to a tea party taking Mrs. Cantine with her.

Thursday 9" Sedgwick and Andrews went to N.Y. this morning. I drove them to the station. Worked in my studio most of the forenoon and advanced my picture. Was going there again in the afternoon but discovered that the bath room cistern which we cleaned and refilled on Monday was empty. I changed my clothes and went down and looked for the leak and cemented it but whether effectually I cannot tell. Something of this nature I expect now almost every day. Lucy, John, Jamie and Sedgwick all returned from N.Y. this evening. Bowyer won the International Cup in the canoe race yesterday. Lucy was present with Calvert and Mary.

Friday 10" Hot and dry. Indications of rain this morning which all vanished. Most disagreeable and depressing weather to me. Worked in my studio nearly all day. My picture approaches completion but I hope to make it better than it is. By working I am less unhappy.

Saturday 11" Directly after breakfast I went down into the cistern and satisfied myself that I had not stopped the leak and that the cement I had used was not good. Tom and I got out the water which remained in, Jamie went to the cement mill for fresh cement and I mended the cracks and then gave the whole inside a coat of cement wash finishing by 10 o clock. Then I dressed and went to my studio 

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---------- Reopened for Editing 2023-05-12 16:29:01 . ---------- Reopened for Editing 2023-05-12 22:03:27 I don't see anything else wrong with this