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in the morning but going in the city and its election and alltogether they did not occur to me again. But I hardly ever enter this room that I do not think involuntarily of Gertrude. Today I opened my trunk and there was a little piece of white flannel which had dropped out of our portfolio and which I had kept because she had wiped her pen upon it. I do not think of my mother so often but still very often I remember her in so many ways, sewing at night by the lamp where she used to look so pretty dressed in white, or going about the house, or later sitting disabled and helpless in her invalid chair. Oh! the tearful memories of this dear home, and now comes another separation with all the fears of what may happen before we meet again.

Friday Nov. 5" 1886. Lucy has gone, and the visit home which we looked forward to so long is a thing of the past. Sara and I drove her John and Sedgwick up to the 9 o'clock train this evening and saw them settled in the sleeping car. John McEntee got off the train and came in to see them off and will drive with us. Poor dear Sedgwick whom I have always loved and who is one of the dearest of boys and when he took leave of us. We could not realize that they would not be with us again and tomorrow their vacant places at the table and the silence in their empty room will tell us of the change more eloquently even than their farewells. My father in parting with them thought he would never see them again, but when he was told they hoped to get to West Point next year quite brightened at the idea of visiting them there. They will not know where they are to be stationed until they reach Omaha, and so another pleasant episode in our lives is ended. What changes may occur before we meet again.
[[left margin]] Lucy Andrews and Sedgwick leave. [[/left margin]]

Saturday 6". This morning at breakfast Sara and I sat alone and talked of the absent ones. She said she awoke with a homesick feeling and a sinking of the heart. I went up to Lucy's room as empty as though they had never been there except for Sedgwick's shoes and some little traces of their presence. They awoke hundreds of miles away from us with very likely the same homesick thoughts. I went over to my studio and got to work painting two little sketches to give to Alida for her fair for the Home and worked until 2 o'clock when it became too dark to paint. Shortly after it began to rain and this evening is raining steadily. It is mild but it snowed in Buffalo and Detroit this morning. Tom and Henry put up the stove in the upper kitchen. All the roots are in for which I am glad. Permission was granted in the Common Council last night to give me the grade of Chester St. and I wrote a note to Mr. Childs the city Engineer asking him to do it as soon as possible. Sara and I sat in the parlor feeling the absence of Lucy and her family and talking of them. I read to her the first chapters of Hay and Nicolays Life of Lincoln begun in this number of the Century. Having decided to do the grading on Chester St. I feel more hopeful thinking our futures may thus be benefitted. I have decided to risk it and trust to luck to pay for it.
[[left margin]] Stove put up in upper kitchen [[/left margin]]

Sunday 7" When we awoke this morning our eyes rested on a grim and wintry landscape as though a month had intervened between today and yesterday. The rain had turned to snow in the night and about one inch had fallen and the wind was blowing a gale from the N.W. and has blown all day. Sara and I still sit in the parlor. Tonight it is clear and still with the mercury 5° below the freezing point. Fred and Annie Norton drove up with their team about noon and took Sara for a ride and she dined with them at Johns. I dined alone and sat in the parlor alone and read until her return about 4 o'clock realizing how lonely it must be for her here in the winter when I am gone. I wrote to Mary this forenoon asking them all to come up to spend Thanksgiving with us and a separate letter to Downing asking him. Lottie Anderson who is going back to Santa Barbara on Thursday, and Charlie called. Girard came in for a while this afternoon. I realize how absolutely necessary is companionship to me and much of my unhappiness comes from dissatisfaction with myself. I am too impatient, unamiable and easily disturbed and whenever I am I regret it bitterly and resolve to guard against it only to fail over and over again. Lucy and Andrews and Sedgwick, if all has gone well are well on their way tonight from St. Louis to Omaha where they arrive tomorrow afternoon when we hope to hear from them

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