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to a speculator, just double the usual price and yet it cost less than to go to any other theatre. I wonder why Jefferson after acting in this very poor play, does not do something to improve it. I went to the Century and got talking with Campbell and did not get to my room until nearly 1 o clock and awoke at 5. I think my difficulty for which I was healed by Dr. Taylor and for which I have been taking special exercises ever since is really no better. I am somewhat discouraged about it.

Friday May 6" 1887. I went to see the pictures at the Prize Fund exhibition this morning. The two pictures which received the prizes, Gays and Davis's, are by no means remarkable and Davis' I think poor and weak. I found the collection of much less interest than I expected to. There was an article on the Academy in the Tribune this morning quite significant in tone, admitting that after all the pictures by Academicians were the most [[?]] ones. The writer devoted considerable space to my picture in the South room, treating it with favor and considering it one of the best landscapes in the collection. However I do not greatly value praise from that quarter, which generally only sees good in pictures with which I have little sympathy. - Mills came in and I paid him $450 on my rent still having a balance of over $70. I also sent a check for my dues to the Century. Have worked on a little sunset picture, the idea for my picture in the Academy and also on one of my Nevada studies. Went to the club a little while and talked with Nicoll. He is devoting most of his time to etching, but says it is very unsatisfactory. Came to my room early and went to bed despondent.   

Saturday 7" Awoke with an overwhelming sense of depression, feeling that all my expenses are going on and nothing is coming in. I am distracted and do not know what to do. Unless I can sell some of our property and tide myself along until I can sell some of my pictures I feel my career must end in disaster. It seems to me I never had so utterly a discouraging outlook. Calvert is in great anxiety awaiting the appointment of new Park Commissioners, but I feel quite sure whoever is appointed it will do him no good. We work and struggle to gain reputation and an honorable place in the world and after all find ourselves deserted in our later life. Calvert came over and looked at all my pictures and studies which I propose to put in my sale next spring. He was quite surprised at the variety of effect and felt sure I would have a successful sale. Attended the monthly meeting of the Century. The alterations and additions to the club were considered and referred by a nearly two thirds vote to the Board of Management with power to spend $25.000 but it is considered that it will still have to be voted upon again and ratified at the next meeting. I saw Eastman at a distance and he saw me but we kept away from each other. He had two fine portraits, one of Sloane who married one of Vanderbilts daughters and one of a boy. I sent "Autumn Fields". There was quite an interesting collection including some sketches in Mexico by Hopkinson Smith. I had a talk with T. B. Clark about my proposed sale next spring and he assured me I would do well and was most encouraging. I asked him if he would care to come and look at some of the things I proposed to put in my sale and he said he would be very glad to and we settled upon Thursday forenoon.

Sunday 8. Went home by the 11 55 train. It had rained at home. The country was very beautiful in its delicate spring garb, the cherry and pear trees in bloom. Tom met me at the station. Sara had cleaned my room to my great surprise as I meant to help her: She is like her mother for keeping busy. I was glad to be at home but I was depressed as I always am in the spring even when I have 

Transcription Notes:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Francis_Hopkinson_Smith (the artist mentioned with the Mexico study) ---------- Reopened for Editing 2023-05-15 18:07:52 ---------- Reopened for Editing 2023-05-16 00:39:34 ---------- Reopened for Editing 2023-05-16 12:10:26 ---------- Reopened for Editing 2023-05-16 15:18:27 .