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one at home Fred having retired to his room.  Julia Dillon who was in at Marys after dinner say she is very miserable as she fears he may not be able to sail on Saturday as he and Annie propose. They are to take a short trip to Europe. I went to the club. Perry was there. He said he had found six of his pictures down town which Bellinger had stolen and sold. He was an Englishman whom he and Bradford introduced at the club and who always seemed to me a transparent adventurer. He has developed into just what I fancied he might.

Friday May 13. Packed the little picture to send to Mr. Linsley and left word at the Express office to call for it. I shall send the letter today. Mr. Van Derlip called and I had a very satisfactory settlement with him- am insured for ten thousand dollars until Jan 6. 1888 and have his due bill for 73.45 and a receipt in full for my bill at Union Adams and a note from Adams to him saying the account has been paid and that I owe him nothing. He also took a schedule of my pictures and studies with low valuations amounting to over $14,000 to be filed with Continental Insurance Co which is a mere precaution. I told him of my complicated sale and he thinks I am fully warranted in returning it and feels sure I will get a good sum of money. While he was here a note came from Mr. Clarke, saying he found a reminder on his note book for an engagement with me Saturday and wishing to postpone it to Sunday or Monday. I wrote him I supposed it was for yesterday, and that I had packed many of my studies I wanted to show him and that I was going into the country for the summer tomorrow, regretting I could not have shown them to him and thanking him and hoping to let him see them in the fall. Mr. Moore called and I had a pleasant hour with him. I sent a note to Mr. Farthingham telling him how greatly I had enjoyed his life of Channing. The picture has gone to Mr. Linsley and also a letter to him. I went around to the club for the last time. Saw Bradford who says he is going to try to sell my picture in the Academy and gave him my card to get into my studio. still I dont expect any thing from this.

[[left margin]] goes home, 1887! [[/left margin]]

Saturday 14" Have my trunk packed and leave by the 4 oclock train full of disappointment and apprehensions to take up the burden of the summer. Wood came in and congratulated me on what I said at the Academy dinner saying I made the best speech of the evening. I told him I was glad to know I had said any thing which could be thought at all interesting. I gave him his choice from six of the little framed sketches as I owed him something more for the picture of Gertrude he painted. He selected a late Autumn, Hussey Hill. I walked over to Marys after my trunk had gone and I had covered up all my furniture and Marion and I went together to the train. Mary felt badly to have me leave and I confess this ending the season was a little sad to me, particularly as I go home feeling I have had so fruitless a winter. We had a pleasant trip through the fresh spring landscapes. The apple trees are in bloom and we found the spring as far advanced at home as near New York. Today is the third anniversary of Gussies death. I can see her as she looked in the early light that spring morning when Sara called me and told me she thought she was near her end. I cannot bear to think of it. Poor suffering heart. Could she ever have imagined that her children would be alienated from all of us. This home is full of sadness to me and I look forward to the summer with apprehension, hardly knowing what to do with myself nor how to pass the days which should be full of work and content.

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