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406

Sunday May 15"1887 At home again for a long and trying summer. The place is as beautiful as ever and one ought to be happy here, but I am not. I see only the anxieties and discouragements.

Monday 16" I drove Marion to Kingston and went to Rondout on some errands. When I came back I took a look at the fence about the place. Boards are off and the whole thing is ready to fall to pieces and I am not able to build a new one. I am in despair when I think of the many things which ought to be done and of my utter inability to do any thing. I worked in the garden and planted melons, cucumbers, Nasturtiums and set out the geraniums from the cellar, but I do these things not as I once did, but with no heart or pleasure and am glad when night comes I can sleep and forget as happily as I can.

Tuesday 17" I paid Tom his wages yesterday and today sent the balance of my rent $73.40 to Mr. Wells. The air is murky, full of smoke I went to work at the fence and spent the whole forenoon nailing on the boards which had been torn off and securing such as were loose and bracing it in weak places, but it is in that condition that it will need constant tinkering. Sara wanted Josephine to whitewash the kitchen but she declined. I think I have indulged them in living in my house without paying any rent, about long enough. I asked Tom today how he would like to live there and he replied he would like it but when I asked him if he would pay me the rent he is paying now he was not so decided. I think I will let him go there without paying rent. Here is another question to settle. I know Henry and Josephine will be surprised when I tell them to look for another place, but they have made themselves objectionable to Sara and to Girards family and I think they have been there long enough. 

Wednesday 18". The atmosphere is very thick with smoke so that we cannot distinguish the opposite shore of the river. It rained a very little this morning. I worked in the shop making a shelf for the top of Saras book case and then worked in the garden. I planted the second crop of peas the okra, string beans, Lima beans and sowed some mignonette. Went over to my studio this afternoon and cleared the wood out into the wood house. I told Josephine I would want my house Sept. 1. She expressed no surprise but I think nevertheless it was a surprise. I told Tom that he could have it then and I would charge him no rent which I think will make him feel better - Marion who was over at Girards this evening told me a carriage with a team of white horses drove to the end of the garden and then returned and when opposite to her asked if Mr. McEntee lived there (pointing here) and whether Mr. Jervis McEntee was here and for how long. She said I was up for the summer. She said they were very nice looking people. Sara says the same people drove up here on Friday and looked about. I am curious to know who it is and hope it may be some one who wants to buy the place. Sara cant get any one to white wash the kitchen and I am going to do it tomorrow. I hope they wont come while I am in the midst of that.

Thursday 19. Sara could find no one to whitewash the kitchen so I did it and finished the whole thing, ceiling and walls by 1 o clock. Sara told Katy she had engaged a man to do it and when I walked in dressed for my work and told her I was the man, she would hardly believe me. I dressed before dinner and going out to the garden after dinner I discovered that the currant bushes were infested with the currant worm and I spent more than an hour picking them off. Sara and Marion went up to the Academy of Music this evening to see a performance by local talent called "The Blue and the Grey" and did not get home until 12 o clock. Girard took an Irish part in it.  

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