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most sadly for I feel lonely and half unhappy. I couldnt help thinking how little this happy creature at my side could know of the longings and troubles which assail us as we grow older and lose our dearest friends. Girard and I with the children walked over beyond Chester St. where the Toboggan society went to buy some land in connection with what they have bought of Mrs. O Reilly. Mr. Keatons house is up and enclosed but will not be a very attractive looking house for so prominent a place, as I feared. The weather was dull and dark during my visit home and I feel tenderly toward the dear home which will soon be ours no more. We talked of all those who have gone out of it never to return and called up many recollections of the past. I shall be glad when the holidays are over for they seem to emphasize the changes which have befallen us. 

Monday Dec 5. 1887. The wind changed this morning and came out of the north with a great dark cloud under which the sun shone brilliantly over the December landscape, but it finally cleared and when I came away with the 11:55 train promised a fine fair day. Mrs. Ostenhoudt and Mrs. Hess were on the train. When I reached my studio I found a note from Mrs. Custer asking me if I would care to go with her to the Nineteenth Century Club on Friday evening to which I replied I would be pleased to go with her. I sent a check for 4.57 to Deere to settle my account, and $50. to Mr. Rock on my bill of $140. Around to the club a little while in the evening to see the pictures. Nothing very interesting.

Tuesday 6". Pretty cold. Walked down the Bowery and bought a little machine for cutting leather for Sedgwicks Xmas present. I also got a little scale for Jamie for weighing letters. Have been at work on my picture, changing it. It is a little better but does not please me. I heard last night at the club that Eastman Johnson had some trouble with his eyes and went up this evening to see him. I found him suffering from an ulcer on the eye and unable to work. I staid there until nearly 11 oclock talking with him. Saw Mrs. Johnson and Ethel who has grown into a young lady.

Wednesday 7. Bought some little Xmas things at the Japanese store and came to my room and stretched a number of my studies. In a short time Eastman came and made a long call, as he said last evening he intended to. Curiously enough Hall came and knocked at my door while he was here. I told him Eastman was here but he said he would rather not see him. Coast came in and I asked him to go along up to Schans' house in 38" St. to see Rembrandts "Gilder" for which I had a card. I think it a masterly picture although it was not shown by a favorable light, and am glad I went to see it. I met there Hiram Romeyn and Mr. & Mrs. Avery who were quite cordial & friendly and I tried to be the same. I was intending to go to the social meeting at the Academy this evening, but Bowyer brought a friend in to dinner, a Mr. Warder of Springfield Ohio and he had sent for three tickets for the theatre, thinking Marion would go, but she had gone out to spend the night and he wanted me to go, which I did. We went to Dalys to see the "Railroad of love". It was a very good play and well acted with Adam Rehem, Mrs. Gilbert, Drew, Lewis & Chas Fisher. After the play I took them around to the Century where we had some oysters. Some of the artists came in from the Academy, St. Gaudens, Trachtman, Alden Weir, Low, Shirlaw and Perry.

Thursday 8". It was dark & damp this morning but has cleared off warmer. Geo. Hall called to see me. He wants to sell his pictures at auction and came to see if I would allow him to hang his pictures at Ortgies at the same time mine were being exhibited, but I told him I would rather not. That it was my idea to sell my pictures alone and I feared the public would get the two sales confounded. He saw the objections and seemed in no way displeased by my polite refusal. Bowyer, Marion, Mr. Warder and Rogers called on me. I have been at work touching up my sketches. Went with Mrs. Custer to the Nineteenth Century Club. Andrew Carnegie defended democracy. Rich Hawkins followed in an exaggerated presentation of its end, and the author of "Danton" a German I should think spoke on Socialism. The feature of the evening was a severe attack by Carnegie 

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