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so on the brink of great and sad changes in our lives that I cannot but brood over it most of the time. I went down into the barn which Tom opened for me. All the hay and fodder are gone and it was absolutely empty. We were never before, in our lives without horses and cows & animals and it seemed very strange to me. Two of the cats still remain there and although they are not fed at all they look sleek and fat and glad to see someone stirring about. I went up to 59" St and saw Dr. Patchin and Dr. Taylor, as John McEntee had wished me to. They both agreed with Saras theory of treatment and I told them I would write her to that effect. On my way down as it was Mrs. Stedmans evening I stopped in there a few minutes although it was past 6 oclock. I saw her, Stedman and Arthur. Found on reaching Marys found she had returned from Baltimore where she has been visiting Julia for three weeks. Went over to the Century and wrote Sara all about my interview with Dr. Taylor & Dr. Patchin.

Wednesday Dec. 14" 1887. Painted a little picture 15x18 a recollection of an effect I saw while I was at home, the sunlight shining out from a black sky and illuming the trees on the hill in front of our house against a dark grey sky. Sent the deed for Coykendall to Girard. Lent two of my pictures to Bonyers friend for the D.K. club - Winter sunset after a storm and A November day. I went to a business meeting of the Academicians at the Academy this evening. There was as usual no quorum, but there were present 25 members. We discussed the idea of raising money to enable us to send three pupils abroad for three years. The matter has been under consideration and there is hope of securing money which has been pledged for art purposes. The Council with Edgar Ward and Nicoll were interested with carrying out the plan. It was a pleasant meeting and I rather enjoyed meeting the artists. They all seemed happy and I wondered if any of them felt as discouraged as I do. When I got to my room at nearly midnight I found a letter from Girard wanting me to endorse his note for $1500. He told me when I was home that Coykendall would discount it for him and that Elting Anderson had agreed to endorse it. Now he declines. It gave me a shock and I hardly knew what to do, but reflecting over it a little I wrote him that considering my own embarrassed condition I could not do it, but if it would be any help I would endorse a note of $500. Even that I ought not to do and he knowing my anxieties ought not to ask me, but I would do so much. He told me Sunday his business brought in $3500 a year and yet he has not paid any of his debts since I helped him two years ago. I begged him to set about extricating himself from this slavery and showed how he ought to apply at least a thousand dollars a year to paying his debts. But he is careless and thriftless and relies too much on borrowing and I cant be dragged into his troubles when he wont made an effort to help himself. I told him I did not want to be unkind, but that he must not rely upon me. I mailed the letter and hope he will get it tomorrow and went to bed disheartened and discouraged.

Thursday 15. Dark and rainy all day. I felt discouraged and very lame but I went to work on my autumn picture which I had got into a very bad state and by dashing into it boldly I got interested and worked all day and I think improved it, so that I feel more interest in it. I staid at the house until 9 oclock when I went around to the club and wrote to Sara. Saw Collins a little while. He saw Eastman Johnson last Friday and he did not seem to be improving.

Friday 16". Cool and bright with a brisk N.W. wind. I feel better but I cannot help thinking of Girard and wondering how he will manage. I wish I could have helped him consistently with my other obligations. I worked on my picture all day but it is not satisfactory in tone. I called

Transcription Notes:
---------- Reopened for Editing 2023-05-17 15:56:38 Corrected a few small typos. ---------- Reopened for Editing 2023-05-18 14:48:55 . Catskill rail magnate Samuel Coykendall