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it has been a cozy, secluded day to me. A feeling that I would not be interrupted and that nothing would make me unquiet. I have a morbid dread almost every day that something disagreeable will occur, in the way of some intrusion, to which since we laid out our property, we will be more and more subjected. People are constantly coming back and forth over our place as though it were public and this is very disagreeable to me. I have busied myself about a great many things today and the time has passed rapidly.

Wednesday May 7" 1890. I made a sketch this morning, of the apple trees beyond the flag staff, but a very unsatisfactory one. I always have a feeling of discouragement after making a poor sketch. It has been a cool day. Sara, Miss Sheffield and I went to the first concert of the philharmonic society this evening. It was very creditable and there was a good audience but not so large as it should have been. The truth is we are not a musical nor an intellectual people and therefore this society is a credit to those who have got it up. Hiram Romeyn was there and we spoke with him.

Thursday 8. Cool this morning but a lovely day. The landscape now in its tenderness is my despair. Down town and got a letter from Church who has got home from Mexico. Their trip owing to Mrs. Churchs illness was a failure. I packed an armful of apple blossoms after breakfast for Miss Larter who was to send them down to the Methodist church for the wedding of the Pastors daughter, Miss Lemont. Owing to neglect they did not go. The apple blossoms are not quite fully developed but nearly so. We went to the second Philharmonic concert this afternoon and this evening met Mrs. Beth Tuckerman there. She is visiting Miss Crosby. All this music brings dear Gertrude most vividly before me. I constantly associate her with it all and can fancy her interest and pleasure in it.

Friday 9" Cold last night and I fear there was frost. Our hall fire nearly went out but we were glad to revive it again. It has been rather a sad day with a strong south wind. I have felt unhappy and ill satisfied with myself all the time knowing I have so many things to be thankful for. I know very well the reason. I am not at work and it is the penalty of idleness. I gave Mary and Girard our tickets for this afternoons concert. Mary went with us last night on Johns ticket. Sara went down to see Mrs.  Cornell who she said was glad to see her. She wished they were in a smaller house - no more contented than people who have little money. I gave Mary and Girard tickets for the concert this afternoon. We went in the evening. It was a fine concert and the house was well filled. This was the last concert and I regret that it is all over. So much in this festival of music to remind me of dear Gertrude and to make me forget all unhappiness. I wrote to Church today.

Saturday 10". A showery day. I painted on my sketch of the apple trees again this forenoon but it is most difficult. I was down town this morning. Girard went to the meeting of the Common Council last night. There were only two votes against confirming the assessment on paving Holmes St. North and Bernier and so we will have to pay. I feel discontented and unhappy in spite of myself because I feel the years going away and I am not doing what I ought to do. Bennett Philips and his wife, with his sister Jennie (Mrs. Gil. Hasbruck) drove up this afternoon. They did not get out but we saw them in the carriage. He does not seem in good health. Is in the coal business in Philadelphia. He left here when he was eleven years old now he is 48, and quite grey. His wife is a very pretty little woman.

Sunday 11" The apple trees are a mass of bloom. I dont remember ever to have seen them such sheets of blossoms. I made a sketch looking from my window in my mothers room over towards my house this forenoon where the apple trees are white with blossoms. I cant get the color but I cant resist trying it. It is a bright day but not too warm for a little fire in the hearth all day. The fire has not yet gone out in the hall stove since it was lighted last October. Sam came up this afternoon. He told me the history of his offer for our place. He was about to start for the West. John McCausland told him he could buy the whole place for 27000 - that he had parties who wanted a part of it but he could not manage the whole of it. Sam told him if he could buy it for that 

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