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talking with her she agreed to come up this evening to see Sara, which she has not done.  A little young thing came this forenoon who had never lived out before and who wanted ten dollars a month and did not want to do the washing. Tom has been all day at the trench for the water pipe and we have come to rock so hard I fear we will have to blast. My cold hangs on and I am ill, depressed, and discouraged. John & Julia came up this evening. I told John I did not know what to do about paying an assessment on Holmes St. The only reply he made was "let them sell the property". I dont think John cares to be bothered with our affairs as he has worries enough of his own to wrestle with. The whole thing comes upon me and I am utterly powerless to raise any money except by selling something, of which there seems no prospect. The outlook is most discouraging and I have again entered upon the gnawing and wearing anxieties which have pursued me through so many years of my life. Julia wants us to go to High Falls tomorrow to spend Sunday and is to see us again tomorrow about it.

Saturday June 21" 1890. I awoke early with a most discouraged feeling. My cold makes me ill and our being without a servant adds to my despondency. The carpet we had made in Pokeepsie from the old ones came today and is disappointing. In spite of our repeated injunctions he has made it in stripes instead of mixing the different colors all through.
[[left margin]] Planted corn, Sewalls evergreen. [[/margin]]

Monday 23". Sara, Julia Dillon and I have just returned from High Falls where we went on Saturday afternoon, only Annie and Fred were there. We took a ride Sunday through and beyond Stone Ridge by the paper mill. In the afternoon Fred talked with me about our place and I told him I needed money to pay the assessment on Holmes St. He said he would let me have it and would always be glad to help me out of any temporary embarassment, so if I do not sell something in time he will advance the money to me. This is a great relief only it seems simply a temporary one and I have a horror of borrowing. This I will have to borrow on my own responsibility just as I have done so many, many times to try to keep the property until we can sell. It was very pretty about Stone Ridge and if I were free I would take my sketching traps and go out there and make some studies. Mart Hamer has just moved into the tavern there and I think it would be a comfortable place to stay and I would be at work at my profession. We came back to the empty, dark house which we shut up when we went away. No servant and little prospect of getting one. We made inquiries out there but they are as scarce there as here. We did see a colored woman who knew of one whom she said she would see, but I expect nothing from that. Sara has gone to Kingston and is going to Rondout before she returns to try to see the girl I saw last week. It rained Saturday all day gently, was pleasant yesterday but today there is a fine mist. We went down to John McEntees to dinner it being his 55" birthday. Gertrude Tremper was there. There was also a young woman Julia had heard of waiting to see us about coming to live with us. She was not very prepossessing, had a baby which she could leave at the Home. Her husband she said had abandoned her. We finally told her she could come and try it. She said she could not come until Thursday but we both feel she will not suit. Mary came in just before we went down to Johns and told us of the death of Whiting Knapps wife last night. Sara went down there and stopped in on my way to Johns to tell Mrs. Stringham I would do anything I could.

Tuesday 24". A warm, close day. Mr. & Mrs Reed called. Sara went to Kingston to see another servant she heard of, and she has promised to come Sunday afternoon. Meanwhile Minnie will get our dinners for us. We attended Mrs. Knapps funeral at 4 o'clock, the weather was very hot. I 

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