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24    ANNUAL REGISTER 

the matter?" said his friend; "Why, I have forgot to get my dinner."

A Parisian husband was lamenting to Santeuil the infidelities of his wife : "A mere flea-bite," said the poet, "or less, as it is only an imaginary complaint; few die of it, and many live with it."

An agreeable woman, to whom Santeuil owed some money, meeting him one day at a private house, asked him the reason she had not seen him so long: "Is it because you owe me something?" "No, madam," replied the poet, "that is not what prevents my visiting, and you are the cause that you are not paid." "How so?" said the lady; "Because," said he, "whenever I see you, I forget everything."

Santeuil having a confessional dress on, either to say vespers, or to muse upon some production, a lady who took him for a confessor, threw herself upon her knees, and recounted all her sins. The poet muttered something to himself, and the good penitent thinking he was reproaching her for her wickedness, hastened the conclusion of her confession: when she found the confessor quite silent, she then asked him for absolution. "What, do you take me for a priest?" said Santeuil, "Why then," said the lady, quite alarmed, "did you speak to me?" "And why," replied Santeuil, "Did you speak to me?" "I'll this instant go and complain of you to your prior," said the enraged female. "And I," said the poet, "am going to your husband, to give him a full account of your conduct."

In a chapter held at St. Victor, to admit Santeuil's hymns, a priest said, that it was improper to sing in a church, the hymns of a man who was so irregular in his conduct. Santeuil instantly replied, "Do not consider the workman, but the work: the tabernacle of our alter is fine; you received it, and praised it; it is, nevertheless, the production of a protestant:- the case is the same with regard to my hymns."

A certain preacher held forth at St. Mary, without giving his auditory any satisfaction. Santeuil, who was present, said, "He did better last year." A by-stander asserted he must be mistaken; for the present pulpit thumper had not preached last year. "That is the very reason," said Santeuil:

He was the first who let fly the shafts of satire against the monks. A Provencal gentleman complained to an attorney at Paris, that he had been cheated by a monk. "What, Sir," said Santeuil, who was present, "a man of your years not to know the monks! - There are," continued he, "four things in this world you should always guard against: the face of a woman, the hind part of a mule, the side of a cart, and a monk on all sides."

Santeuil returning one night to St. Victor, at eleven o'clock, the porter refused opening the door, saying he had positive orders to admit no one at that hour. After much altercation, Santeuil slipt half a louis d'or under the door, and he obtained immediate admittance. As soon as he had got in, he pretended he had left a book upon a stone, upon which he had been sitting while he waited for the door opening. The ossicious porter, animated with the poet's generosity, ran to get the book, and San- 

For the YEAR 1772.      25

Santeuil shut the door upon him. Master Peter, who was half naked, knocked in turn, when Santeuil started the same difficulties as he had done against admitting any one at that time of night, and that he would not disobey the prior. "Ay, but Master Santeuil," said the porter, "you know I let you in very civilly." "And so will I you as civilly," said Santeuil, "if you please:-You know the price, in or out is the word, and I can dally no longer." The porter finding he was likely to sleep in the street half naked, and run the risk of losing his place, slipt the piece of gold under the door, saying, "I thought a poet's money would not stay long with me," and purchased his admittance.

Santeuil made for Dominique, Harlequin of the Italian comedy, this laconic epitaph:

 "Castigat ridendo mores."

An anecdote upon this occasion, should not be suppressed.-Santeuil did not always receive admonition calmly, but sometimes re-plied with warmth. M. Bossuet having reproached him for some impropriety of conduct, concluded with saying, "Your life is not very edifying; and if I was your superior, I would send you into some little cure, to tell your beads, and say your breviary." "And I," said Santeuil, "if I were king of France, would drive you from your snug retreat, and send you to the isle of Patmos, to make a new Apocalypse."

In 1697, Santeuil accompanied the Duke of Bourbon, governor of Burgundy, to the point of returning to Paris, when he was seized with a violent cholic, which carried him off, after being fourteen hours in the greatest agonies. In his last moments he was informed, that his highness the Duke of Bourbon, had sent one of his pages to enquire after his health: Santeuil turned up his eyes to heaven, and cried out in transport, Tu solus altissimus, and he repeated these words several times.
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Anecdotes of Rubens and Vandyck.

In the church of the Augustines at Antwerp, at the high altar, is a celebrated picture of Rubens, representing, in one part, the Virgin Mary sitting with the child Jesus in her lap, and, in another part, several saints and saintesses standing. The breast of one of these, St. Sebastian, is said to have been painted by Vandyck, when he was only a disciple of Rubens. This great master being engaged one day abroad, his disciples went into his painting room, where, after having been some time employed in admiring his works, they began to play or romp in such a manner, that the breast of St. Sebastian, which was not yet dry, was brushed away by a hat thrown at random. This accident put an end to their play: they were very anxious to restore it, fearing that, if Rubens discovered it, they should all be discarded. At length it was agreed, that Anthony should undertake to mend the saint's breast. In short, taking his master's pallet and brushes, he succeeded so well, that his companions imagined that Rubens would overlook it. They were mistaken; for Rubens, at his return, knew immediately that some one 

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