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450 Life of Books, –with Remarks.
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|he proposes in order to put a final end to all litigation about settlements.
IV. The money levied by this tax to be [[?]] in trustees, composed of gentlemen, clergymen, and reputable tradesmen, in each division, to be applied at discretion.
V. Though the parochial division be rejected in the general, yet an officer, equivalent to that of Overseer, with a salary, to be retained for each parish in particular. His business to be, as now, the regulation of the poor, but under the direction of the trustees.
The means of relief, and the proper persons to administer it, being thus provided, the mode of application is next considered. And,
First, For the aged and infirm, and other casually indigent house-keepers, relief at home, according to their several necessities, he thinks most eligible. No distinction to be made of the different objects of relief, but those of resident and vagrant. Inhabitation in a useful capacity, for only a few days, to constitute resident.
II. Persons sick of infectious diseases to be removed to a temporary residence.
III. For poor, orphan'd, or deserted children, Hundred Houses, erected in a plain [[?]], but in a healthy [[?]], are recommended.
IV. For unhappy, itinerant indigents, Hundred Houses have also in this plan, the preference; but then they are to be divided into two classes, the offensive and inoffensive. The inoffensive, among whom he reckons awkward unhandy tradesmen, persons of weak intellects, those who have natural defects or deformities, and those born to better prospects, but by various accidents reduced to indigence; all these, he thinks, would accept with thankfulness a residence, in which every necessary of life was provided for their reception. But, for the offensive vagrants, such as sturdy habitual beggars, impostors robust and healthy, sufferers by disease or accident but notwithstanding able to work, the whole race of gipsies, &c. for there he would have prepared,
V. A place of confinement; from which, however, he would banish those barbarous flagellations appointed by or present laws; punishments that degrade the man to the brute, and awaken the diabolical passions of wrath and revenge in those that suffer. And, in the room thereof, he would substitute the fasting room of Sir John Fielding, as most eligible, and most likely to subdue the Turbulent.
To these erections he would add a kind of infirmary, for the reception of those afflicted with temporary diseases, of whatever kind, that the sick might be kept separate from the healthy, as a preventive against the spreading of diseases. 
Also an apartment, adjoining to the other erections, like the Oriental caravanferas, in which industrious labourers, who travel in harvest for the fake sake of employment, might be lodged and accomodated with an allowance of bread and beer, for one night only, except in cafes of tempestuous weather, when their residence might be enlarged at discretion. 
These are the outlines of this writer's plan. Whoever wishes to forward a reformation will have pleasure in perusing the pamphlet at large. And if, "where evil so flagrantly abounds, (as our author judiciously observes) its abundance can by any means be diminished, a point of no small importance is gained: if every difficulty cannot be surmounted, and every grievance redressed, it is surely better to take some steps towards probable amendment, than to rest indolently in what is universally confessed to be the worst of situations."
36. SURRY TRIUMPHANT: or, The Kentish Men's Defeat. A new ballad. Being a parody on Chevy Chace. Johnson
This little Jeu d'Esprit, which traces, stanza by stanza, the famous old song of Piercy and Douglas, is occasioned by a late cricket-match in Sir Horace Mann's paddock, in East Kent, July 19, 20, and 21, when the Duke of Dorset and the Earl of Tankerville entered the lifts at the head of two chosen bands from their respective counties. 
This engagement, though bloodlets, was, however, not unimportant, being attended with no small lots both of time and money: the author, therefore, in a short address to the reader, observes, that he "has a further end in view than merely tracing the outlines of a most beautiful original, and indulging an innocent pleasantry, which has strict truth for its foundation; it being his intention to convey, at the same time a mo a moral precept of no small importance to his country neighbours, which the reader may collect from several of the stanzas." We shall annex, as a specimen, some of the stanzas; and, to enable our readers to judge how closely the Original has been traced, will add it at the bottom of the page. 
PARODY
GOD prosper long our harvest-work,
Our rakes and hay-carts all!
An ill-tim'd cricket-match there did
At Bishopsburn besal.
To bat and bowl with might and main
Two nobles took their way;
The hay may rue, that is unhous'd,
The batting of that day. 
The active Earl of Tankerville
An even bet did make,
That in Bourn-paddock he would cause
Kent's chiefest hands to quake,
To see the Surry cricketers
Out-bat them and out-bowl.
To Dorfet's Duke the tidings came
All in the park of Knowle:
Who fent his Lordship present word,
He would prevent his sport.
The Surry Earl not fearing this,
Did to East Kent resort;
With ten more masters of the bat,
All chosen men of might,
Who knew full well in time of need,
To aim or block aright.
For the two next stanzas, and we think, for them only, there is no authority in the original; and therefore, we suppose, they are inclosed in hooks:
ORIGINAL
GOD proper long our noble King, 
Our lives and Faseties all;
A woeful hunting once there did 
In Chevy-chace besal.
To drive the deer with hound and horn,
Earl Piercy took his way:
The child may rue, that is unborn,
The hunting of that day. 
The stout Earl of Northumberland
A vow to God did make,
His pleasure in the Scottish woods
Three summer days to take,
The chiefest harts in Chevy-Chace
To kill and bear away.
The tidings to Earl Douglas came, 
In Scotland where he lay:
Who sent Earl Piercy present word,
He would prevent his sport.
The English Earl, not fearing this,
Did to the woods resort,
With fifteen hundred bow-men bold, 
All chosen men of might,
Who knew full well, in time of need,
To aim their shafts aright.
[From Marsh and Weald, their hay-carts To Bourn the rustics hied, [left, From Romney, Cranbrook, Tenterden, And Darent's verdant fide:
Gentle and simple, 'squires and clerks, 
With many a lady fair,
Fam'd Thanet, Fowell's beauteous bride,
And graceful Sondes, were there.]
The circumstance of the game being interrupted by a heavy shower, gives rise to an altercation (founded on truth) between some of the parties, particularly the Earl and Sir Horace, in which the dispute between Douglas and Piercy is closely imitated, and the offer made by the former of a single combat, is travestied to single wicket. This dialogue is thus interrupted:
Then stept a gallant "Squire forth,
Bartholomew was his name,
Who said, "I would not have it told
On Clandon Down for shame,
That Tankerville e'er play'd alone,
And I stood looking on:
You are a Knight, Sir, you and Earl,
And I a Vicar's son. 
I'll do the best that do I may,
While I have pow'e to wield my bat,
I'll play with heart and hand."
As Earl Douglas urges his adversary to "yield," Earl Tankerville urges his opponent "to hedge his bets," and offer which is with equal scorn rejected by the Knight, who being, soon after not :killed," but "caught out,"
Spoke no more words than these,
"Play on, my memry men all;
For why, my inning's at an end;
The Earl has caught my ball."
Then by the hand his Lordship took
This hero of the match,
And said, "Sir Horace, for thy bets,
Would I had miss's my catch!"
ORIGINAL
Then Stept a gallant 'Squire forth,
Witherington was his name,
Who said, I would not have it told
To Henry our King for shame,
That e'er my Captain fought on foot,
And I stood looking on: 
You be two Earls, said Witherington,
And I a 'Squire alone.
I'll do the best that do I may,
While I have pow'r to wield my fword,
I'll fight with heart and hand."
Who never spoke more words that these,
"Fight on my merry men all; 
For why, my lie is at an end;
Lord Piercy sees my fall."
Then leaving life, Earl Piercy took
The dead man by the hand;
And said, Earl Douglas, for thy life
Would I had loft my land!