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Unknown
Phyllis Gag
OCT/1964
We have a beloved guest with us today, a former Miss Universe, Betsy Drag Race - Miss Drag Race - is that a hyphenated name? No, there's a question mark in the middle - What does that mean. If I knew, there wouldn't be a question mark there.
Miss Drag Race, you are a former Miss Universe. Yes - I was Miss Universe back in the days when the Universe was nothing but a hole in the world - before they were sending up all that garbage - rockets - there were just ghost riders in the sky. (sing) - Ghost Riders in the Sky.
Yes, Miss Drag Race - 
Ghost Riders in the Sky.
Miss -- are you against rockets?
I'm against everything - you name it - I'm against it. 
Why are you against rockets?
It's an awfully expensive way to get rid of one mouse.
Ghost Riders in the Sky.
What do you mean?
When I have a mouse I take a little 10 cent trap and I put a little piece of cheese on it - and ka-jook - I catch it -- they find one mouse in the Pentagon, and they send it away in a $5 million trap and then expect it to wire back and sing Wish You Were Here - Wish You Were Here - They're not making the stars so bright this year. 
Would you care to go on a rocket to the moon?
Not unless things get a lot worse here - Wish You Were Here - Wish You Were Here - 
It is generally known, Betsy - you don't mind if I call you Betsy.
Oh no - not at all - I'm sick of being called Sam.
Wish You Were Here - Wish You Were Here.
Betsy - you were one of the most ravishing beauties of your day - ravishing is the word - isn't it?
That's the word all right.
What is the secret of your long successful life?
They say that we're too young to love - too young -what was that quest. Well I think it's pretty obvious that I have found the secret of eternal youth. I eat health food - eat plenty of dried snake fangs - raw fish, seaweed, alf alpha, butterfly feet, that junk, I eat lots of health food - I hate it - it makes me sick.
They say that we're too young to love.
What else?
I bathe whenever I have a chance - which is when I have a room - that's about twice a year - I do it the same day I see my dentist.
They say that we're too young to love.
Would you say you have a good dentist?
Yes, he's lovely - he saved my tooth - he's darling -- washes his hands twice a year - whether they need it or not.
They say that we're too young to -