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Unknown
Joe Lucas
27/DEC/1963
Reporter: What do you think qualifies you to be the President of the United States?
Phyllis: This country needs a mother.
Reporter: In the event of a hydrogen holocaust. What effect will atomic fallout have on the American people?
Phyllis: That depends on how many calories there are in atomic fallout.
Reporter: Are you planning on introducing any new bills to bolster the economy?
Phyllis: Yes, I've got a sweet deal on. I'm going to raise the price of Girl Scout Cookies.
Reporter: Is it all right to address you as Madam President?
Phyllis: Either that or Hail to the Chief. I'm not a vain person.
Reporter: Why did you refuse an invitation to visit Moscow?
Phyllis: I haven't a thing to wear.
Reporter: Whast was your impression of Karl Marxes Communist Manifesto?
Phyllis: Interesting idea, but I don't think they will ever be able to make a broadway musical out of it.
Reporter: I understand some harsh accusations were made by Khrushchev in Russia after he dined at the White House and sampled your home cooking.
Phyllis: He accused me of germ warfare. At the Summit Meeting they made me stand in the corner. Have you ever stood in the corner of a summit?
Reporter: Its been rumored that you gave your fourteen year old son a political appointment, is there any truth to this unfounded rumor?
Phyllis: Oh, I gave him a minor post.
Reporter: And what was that?
Phyllis: Custodian of the nuclear trigger.
Reporter: My God, what if he should accidentally push the button?
Phyllis: Then he will lose his job. I won't tolerate boo boos from anyone, not even my own flesh and blood.
Reporter: Does anyone help you in making presidential decisions?
Phyllis: Heavens no, I consult my tea leaves.
Reporter: Is that all. What about problems that affect the world? Don't you consult the Senate, Congress, your advisors. Somebody?
Phyllis: What do they know? For the knotty problems I go to my weegie board -- or the Boy Scouts - Knots - get it!
Reporter: What is your ultimate goal as president?
Phyllis: To have my face carved on Mount Rushmore with a Cleopatra wig. By the way you're kinda cute.
Reporter: Thank you Madam President, your not so bad yourself.
Reporter: Is the Hot Line still open between Moscow and the United States?
Phyllis: I haven't the foggiest. My teenage daughter is always on the phone.

Transcription Notes:
Whast should be What's, but typo is preserved in transcription. Mouth Rushmore was originally typed as Mount Russmore, typo is preserved in transcription--corrected in transcription for searchability @hannabred/NMAH team