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UNKNOWN
Mary McBride
20/JUN/1967
[[underlined]]Material for Presidents Club Dinner Honoring President Johnson, June 3, 1967, N.Y.C.[[/underlined]]
Seriously, I'm considered the "before" example in the American Beautification program.

Lady Bird wanted me to be here today. I'm the performer that looks most like a shrub, a bush, or a tree.

A little while ago a Congressman met me in the hall, looked me over and said, "I would vote for reapportionment."

Mrs. Johnson was going to have her portrait done this year, but she knew the artist that would do the best job is dead - Audobon. Life membership - they sent me a cage.

We al know of Mr. Johnson's great economy efforts. We appreciate his giving his Fireside Chats without lighting the fire.

Mr. Johnson is so home. If you passed him on the street he looks just like any other millionaire president.

Fang is so stupid, the other day when he heard the President was working on settling some domestic disputes, he thought Lyndon and Lady Bird were seeing a Marriage Counselor.

Today I'm going to discuss Politics. I'm an authority on a few things besides Halloween, you know.

I was at a Republican rally once and heard a candidate give a speech. I think I would have had more confidence in him if he'd had his suit coat buttoned right.

Was that a wild affair. They wouldn't quiet down even when the chairman pounded his gavel on the ceiling.

And the way that one Republican Congressman tries to get his bills put through - by threatening to hold his breath.

Transcription Notes:
original spelling -- "al" s/b all