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A REAL GEM
PHYLLIS DILLER
02/JUL/1990
An elderly farm woman was having her portrait done for her children and asked the artist if he would paint jeweled rings on her fingers,pearls on her neck,diamond earrings in her ears and jeweled bracelets on both wrists.
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 "Sure," said the artist, "but may I ask why?"
 "Because I don't have long to live,"the old lady replied.I"know that my husband has a young girlfriend. When I die, I want to drive her crazy trying to find out what happened to my jewelry."

Transcription Notes:
Several spacing issues and a typo