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LOSER GAGS
John P. Shea
1974
Misfortune is:
Buying a white sport jacket and then developing black dandruff.  Drinking toasts to so many other people's health, you lose your own.  Having so much beer on your breath, you are followed home by a pretzel. Trying to sell "Father's Day" cards in a Home for Unwed Mothers.  Being so poor you can only afford rickets in one leg.  Inventing a mustard plaster made with ketchup.  Growing so old your favorite dessert is Prunes Jubilee.  (Not paid for--old joke of P.D.)  Trying to figure out how to breastfeed triplets.  Having the droppings from the bluebird of happiness splatter your anniversary cake.