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[[strikethrough]] MONDAY, JANUARY 20, 1936 [[/strikethrough]]
20th Day  346 Days to come
cont

Florence can work in her own way, & so can I, & neither of us will ever have to overlap each other. No one in the world can be compared with me, because my work has my personality, & the very strength of its difference from everyone else puts me in my own world. Of course, one has to have the persistance & intelligence to learn how to express that personality to its best advantage, & that is the only ground on which one artist competes with another, (except in competitions etc) but that takes care of itself if one cares enough to use intelligence & persistance. Competition doesn't stimulate me or make me jealous -- it only depresses me and makes me feel incapable & hopeless so that I want to step out of the picture, & that is why I will never be a good [[strikethrough]] skier [[/strikethrough]] ski racer. The result in ski racing is that I get so nervous for a whole week before a race that I can't sleep or eat [[strikthrough]] & [[/strikethrough]] so I am weaker the day of the race than at any other time, just when I should be strongest.


[[strikethrough]] TUESDAY, JANUARY 21, 1936 [[/strikethrough]]
21st Day  Stonewall Jackson--Born 1824  345 Days to come
cont

But this is different from art, Gott Sei Dank, & one could live on a desert island [[strikethrough]] with a teacher & [[/strikethrough]] & end up just as good an artist as if one competed with a million artists in NYC. One learns technique quicker through competition, perhaps, but experience would do it just as well in the end I think, & in a purer way. The only thing I mind about F is that Warneke may lose interest in my work through her ability & therefore might not teach me as well & I would suffer if he became less hopeful of me because she is so good, & other peoples encouragement always makes one work better. I wrote all this to Henry, & feel better now, but inside I feel very unsuccessful because of that, & because of me hopeless affection for H, & because of my wasted years of skiing & getting involved with St Anton, which it will be so painful to leave for good. A blizzard has raged for three days now, & I started Christianias today at last, & the hunters can't hunt any more Thank goodness.

Transcription Notes:
Heinz Warneke, her sculpture teacher Christianias are ski stem turns

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