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[[strikethrough]] THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 27, 1936 [[/strikethrough]] 58th Day 308 Days to come cont. & it is pathetic how starved I am for it these days. I [[strikethrough]] even [[/strikethrough]] am driven to reading all letters twice or three times through, which makes them [[strikethrough]] seem were more [[/strikethrough]] seem like mountains rather than molehills, but I miss them enough to have to do that. I am so behind in here that I will just drop the past & begin from now on. There was one night in St. Anton three nights ago which I mustn't ignore though. It was a spontaneous growth of "lustigkeit" & "stimmung" such as I've never seen,- Lights supplied Turkish bowl till 3 A.M. - & everyone felt [[strikethrough]] so [[/strikethrough]] gay, [[strikethrough]] & so we [[/strikethrough]] but not too gay, & there weren't too many people, & all felt exactly equally lit up. [[strikethrough]] so that in [[/strikethrough]] I [[strikethrough]] would [[/strikethrough]] almost never enjoy a party unless I'm with someone I like a lot, but that night there was no one special, & yet everyone was nice & really funny. Two Englishmen got inspired, & one turned into a charging bull, & the other into a matador, & then both became shieks with the help of table cloths. Last night I spent with Bobbie de B. who talked a blue streak for the first time. He said that I had much more S.A. [[strikethrough]] FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 28, 1936 [[/strikethrough]] 59th Day 307 Days to come cont than Sarah & Kathie, which surprised me, & he told me that Englishmen when they graduate from Cambridge don't know anything about girls, & then they meet some one & fall desperately in love (very idealistically) which interested me, & then he proceeded to make love to me at my doorstep which amused me! He said that in England - one can be wicked as long as one isn't found out, but the minute one is discovered, that is the end. Everyone is wicked [[strikethrough]] type [[/strikethrough]] there, but so hypocritical as to get away with it. On these gay ocassions Dot has been dancing with her broken back, & no one can believe their eyes when she glides by with her weirdly shaped plaster figure. Really it is unbelievable. I keep getting flattering letters from home - about my Olympics & exhibition & talent, & it just shows how incapable I am when I think how I need that flattery just now! I feel like such a failure here, & I need the prop of flattery more than ever. Sunny's engagement is a shock. How could he have seemed so interested only a month ago, & I was looking forward so much to seeing him when I get home. Damn it.