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[[strikethrough]] WEDNESDAY, APRIL 1, 1936 [[/strikethrough]]
92nd Day 274 Days to come

Mar 25th

Once more & for the last time I am writing in here at 3:30 a.m. -but as this was K's + my last night together -[[strikethrough]] it [[/strikethrough]] I have already written it down in my heart, [[strikethrough]] said so that I [[/strikethrough]] so there is no need of rewriting it all here. I will be able to reread & re reread it [[strikethrough]] when [[/strikethrough]] with my mind's eye forever & whenever & wherever I want to [[strikethrough]] & need [[/strikethrough]] this way, whether my diary & pen are there or not. 

Thank God for memory at this moment, because my [[strikethrough]] future [[/strikethrough]] thoughts will consist of memory from now on -except for work, & seeing mum & my N.Y. friends again. I have a bad memory, but in spite of that I am sure I shan't forget K & he won't forget me, - though I wouldn't be surprised if he found another girl or if I slowly got so used to his absence that I wouldn't mind too desperately to resign myself to it & find someone else.  So I am sailing away from him tomorrow for two years, unless he comes to America. I am glad for his sake to have made him girl conscious - though certainly not for my sake or 

[[strikethrough]] THURSDAY, APRIL 2, 1936 [[/strikethrough]]
93rd Day 273 Days to come
cont

peace of mind, [[strikethrough]] though [[/strikethrough]] but I know it is best for both of us in the end & somehow I feel that even if he does have other affairs they may not compare to ours, because there is something so fundamentally sympathetic in our natures. Mrs. Payne is a [[strikethrough]] wonderful [[/strikethrough]] very wise person & I was mortified when she broke in on us tonight, but [[strikethrough]] then [[/strikethrough]] K then went & asked her if it was because she was worried, & thank God it was only to look for cookies! K's brother had to marry a pregnant girl - so I wouldn't have blamed her - but somehow I wish to heaven K & I could have gone off somewhere all alone tonight - or that she hadn't been there.  Goodnight dear one - & here's hoping you have written the last month down in your heart as indellibly [[indelibly]] as I have. Tomorrow night I shall think of a thousand things I have to say to you - but it will be too late then. How differently I feel now about leaving K, to the last time I [[strikethrough]] left England John [[/strikethrough]] felt about leaving John when I sailed away from England five years ago. The difference is between dreamy mysterious exciting romance, & deep felt realistic love.  [[strikethrough]] or a misty dawn & a bright sunlight day [[/strikethrough]] or a moonlight night & a bright sunny day which is complete revelation.