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[[strikethrough]] WEDNESDAY, JUNE 24, 1936 [[/strikethrough]]
176th Day   Nativity of St. John the Baptist   190 Days to come
cont.

[[strikethrough]] would [[/strikethrough]] could only be laughed at by such sophistication that one hardly notices it, & he is no sucker, but then he is no country bumpkin. This subject has amazed me lately. It is so easy to ridicule "realness" in people, unless they are old & influential & have big enough names to triumph over the sophisticated humour of the [[strikethrough]] people [[/strikethrough]] people of N.Y. nowadays. This humourless realness touches me when I meet it - & often when I myself am most sincere I am laughed at because I am so unable to express things in an invulnerable way. I have always thought I have a sense of humour - but this [[strikethrough]] shows [[/strikethrough]] has shown me that I have only in the receptive  onlooking sense, [[strikethrough]] & so while [[/strikethrough]] so that [[strikethrough]] when [[/strikethrough]] my talk & ideas & expressions in general have no humour whatever. Is that taking oneself seriously, or is it only a lack of wit & words? This makes me very self conscious with people like Nat & StJ & Aggie - & the first two are very 


[[strikethrough]] THURSDAY, JUNE 25, 1936 [[/strikethrough]]
177th Day   189 Days to come
cont.

upsetting because their judgement means something - but Aggie's is only irritating because her triumphs are purely 'wordy' ones. The other night when I went to the ballet - I told her I couldn't help feeling the [[strikethrough]] ba [[/strikethrough]] Russian ballet had had its day, & could never again revive itself to its old standard, whereas Martha Graham's dancing was of the moment - it is good, & in keeping with the music & stage settings, & abstract[[strikethrough]] nesses [[/strikethrough]] effects of the day. She replied that the ballet was so annoying & light & she couldn't be bothered with the serious souls of the Martha Graham aesthetes who think she is a Goddess. Her best point was that the ballet overfills its house with uproarious worshippers - but there again I feel its audience consists of people who feel the ballet is the fashion, & who find it charming & light in humour because their sophistication calls for smart ticklings - & the book "Nijinski" makes them feel they are intimate members of life. [[strikethrough]] I find [[/strikethrough]]