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[[strikethrough]] FRIDAY, JUNE 26, 1936 [[/strikethrough]]
178th Day   188 Days to come
cont.

The constant & childish applause of this audience is positively embarrassing because it is so self-consciously attempting to show the dancers that they know a great deal about the ballet - & really appreciate the efforts of the dancers & art in general. I like the light humourous lathers that they get themselves into too - & I love the harmonized feast they give to the eyes & ears [[strikethrough]] & [[/strikethrough]] - but is dancing a great art - & if it is (& [[strikethrough]] proves [[/strikethrough]] almost certainly it is) - can't one take it seriously without being a ridiculous aesthete? Sometimes I loathe humour - especially when it kills sincerety - & othertimes I worship [[strikethrough]] it [[/strikethrough]] & respect it because the funniest humour is the most matter of fact realism - but God how [[strikethrough]] it [[/strikethrough]] self conscious & defeating it is. Children can be killed by it - they lose all initiative & unselfconscious expression when they are surrounded by [[strikethrough]] a f [[/strikethrough]] a humourous family. [[strikethrough]] -& [[/strikethrough]] Young


[[strikethrough]] SATURDAY, JUNE 27, 1936 [[/strikethrough]]
179th Day   187 Days to come
cont

people should have the tomboy & creatively witty kind, & old people should have the [[strikethrough]] wise [[/strikethrough]] jovial & story telling kind, & the critics should have the satirical & realistic & destructive kind. The young (!) should have a constructive imaginative kind, & only the analytical destructive kind should be seen in theatres & magazines & books - put it that way instead then. I recognize the ridiculous continually - & I suppose thats why it defeats me so in my self or those love, because I am so conscious of it - but thank God I don't enjoy seeing the ridiculous & reexpressing [[strikethrough]] it will [[/strikethrough]] it in my own way. Mummie is so genuine that she is practically never ridiculous, but that is probably true because she doesn't commit herself or lay herself open to it half as much as most people - whereas I & K & [[strikethrough]]  sever [[/strikethrough]] countless others do. To hell with humour - I adore K more than ever before - & feel foolish that it had to take a neat movie to clarify it enough to write about! [[strikethrough]] Goodnight! [[/strikethrough]]