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[[strikethrough]] THURSDAY, JULY 2, 1936 [[/strikethrough]]
184th Day   Visitation B.V. Mary 182 Days to come
cont

sufferers. He is right - for Santayana's phylosophies are [[strikethrough]] rather [[/strikethrough]] too personal & selfish to apply to anyone but him & his well-fed kind. Religion is there for people who need it - & "mere living" is enough for the healthy happy ones. Faith in a power above weak & unhealthy people supplies them with a criterion in place of the faith a healthy person can have in himself or in admirable friends, or even [[strikethrough]] id [[/strikethrough]] any ideal he is sure of. Even if this ideal is wrong, the faith a person can have in it is what does good, [[strikethrough]] unless he discovers to [[/strikethrough]] until he discovers it to be wrong.

I almost feel that being away from K gives me a sense of proportion which makes me know him better in some ways - though he is right about letters being a necessary drop of oneself conveyed accross the ocean in order to prevent putting the loved one too high [[strikethrough]] or [[/strikethrough]] up on a pedestal, or too far below. [[strikethrough]] The ha be [[/strikethrough]] the trouble is that one has nothing to go by except what one wants


[[strikethrough]] FRIDAY, JULY 3, 1936 [[/strikethrough]]
185th Day   181 Days to come
Cont

to think, & what one wants eventually becomes true in one's mind where it is allowed to think unhampered. No bell rings in my mind to tell me that he is on firm ground or on that wicked pedestal [[strikethrough]] in my mind [[/strikethrough]] which is [[strikethrough]] like [[/strikethrough]] the Empire State sometimes. Well - though did not write at first - he will be flustered  with flourishment amidst letters from me by now, but surely it is better that I started that way, & end up writing more & more (about less & less) instead of the usual vice-versa course. If only I could put quality into all my quantity of pages - but once again it is because "I have no time to be brief."

My [[strikethrough]] comis [[/strikethrough]] commissions have not progressed very fast - my ash tray for St J which will be of quail sitting in a ring [[strikethrough]] when [[/strikethrough]] as they do facing outward when danger is near - & my swan posts which are about to start, & my animals for Lee which she is not yet sure she wants yet, & my