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[[strikethrough]] SUNDAY, JULY 12, 1936 [[/strikethrough]]
194th Day  5th Sunday after Trinity  Orangeman's Day  172 Days to come
cont.

to marry happily - so why can't he see that? [[strikethrough]] Anyway - I got up [[/strikethrough]] He saw K's picture & thought he looked wonderful which pleased me no end, as his opinions of people are instinctively good & perceptive. He has [[strikethrough]] a [[/strikethrough]] the very rare ability of recognizing quality in people or art or anything, as well as giving it himself in the most [[strikethrough]] se [[/strikethrough]] inspired way at times. [[strikethrough]] I go [[/strikethrough]] I was exhausted that night - & they had to get up at 8 the next day - but felt marvelous to my amazement.

I must quote from "Lust of Life" now - before I forget. "Rubens was serving Holland as Ambassador to Spain & used to spend his afternoons in the royal gardens before his easel; one day a jaunty member of the Spanish Court passed & remarked "I see that the diplomat amuses himself sometimes with painting", to which Rubens replied "No, the painter amuses himself sometimes with diplomacy." Van Gogh said one day to his brother "Do our inward thoughts ever show


[[strikethrough]] MONDAY, JULY 13, 1936 [[/strikethrough]]
195th Day   171 Days to come
cont.

outwardly? There may be a great fire in our soul & no one comes to warm himself by it. The passers-by see only a bit of smoke coming through the chimney & continue on their way. Now look here, what must be done? Musn't one tend that inward fire, have salt in oneself, wait patiently for the hour when somebody will come & sit near it?" Everyone would say that was so of them, but I know it is so with me, & mummie is the one person who does sit near it, & if she didn't I think my fire would go out - but perhaps I put her near it just because [[strikethrough]] someone [[/strikethrough]] I wouldn't have the courage not to have anyone there.

The other night I told Nat about my disgust with N.Y. humour, & on the same them [[theme]] she generalized in saying that it is extraordinary the way one can see so many wrongs surrounding one daily, & instead of taking the responsibility of righting them, one sits back & does nothing about it. People in America are too satisfied to make strenuous independent