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[[strikethrough]] WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 16, 1936 [[/strikethrough]]
260th Day Ember Day 106 Days to come

Cont

sick of love - marriage - ambition etc - & yet I hear of nothing else & think of nothing else [[strikethrough]] The next a.m. we [[/strikethrough]] & couldn't live without them. The next a.m. I arose at 7 to meet mum at the boat, & as a result of the 3 hours sleep was depressed for the last two days - so depressed that when mum gave me Peter Scott's book for a present - I was so full of admiration of both his paintings & his writing, & the fact that he is a contemporary of mine that I was overcome by envy & shame that I hadn't done anything as good, nor ever could.  [[strikethrough]] That [[/strikethrough]] I took it that way only because I was so tired, but [[strikethrough]] anyth [[/strikethrough]] any other time I would have felt happy & strong when I looked at them, losing my damn self entirely in the pleasure this book gives. I wrote him a letter to this effect which about sums up my opinion of his paintings. They are so vital & honest that they can't help being good, but what I admire is his ability to show his love & understanding of those birds & of all the phases of their living


[[strikethrough]] THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 17, 1936 [[/strikethrough]]
261st Day U.S. Constitution Adopted 1787 105 Days to come

Cont. cont

world through a mastery of technique. I feel as if they fly accross the page & that it is cruel of him to have cut the boundary lines of his pictures right through their wings & bodies, but this very cleverly gives a feeling of space & the presence of unlimited birds. It is wonderful to think that 3rd hand pictures can give so much pleasure, for they are copies of [[strikethrough]] your [[/strikethrough]] his originals taken from Gods originals, & though I wish I could see them all in colour [[strikethrough]] your [[/strikethrough]] most of his compositions don't need it. His text has the same quality of honest knowledge & [[strikethrough]] too [[/strikethrough]] understanding feeling, which I understand well through my attitude toward animals. I used to be very infatuated with him two years ago when he was here, & I should love to see him again.

Aside from all this which sounds dead because it happened several days ago - I [[strikethrough]] finally [[/strikethrough]] saw M. H. & Nat one night which was lovely, & I actually went shopping in person for the first time in a year - except for telephoning shops to send things on approval which is fatal!   St. J. said goodbye.