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[[strikethrough]]SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 26, 1936[[/strikethrough]]
270th Day 96 Days to come
Cont.

go to the movies & he would put me in the studio which I could lock for the night - so I stayed, & now I'm sorry. We cooked lunch & talked all day, & I stood up with my hands in his statues position which helped him a lot, & we went to "Show Boat" which he disliked so we left, & when we came home we cooked another meal & talked till very late.  [[strikethrough]] Then [[/strikethrough]] That night in [[strikethrough]] my [[/strikethrough]] his studio with only a candle burning I felt rather odd lying there surrounded by his countless sculptures with that huge (it is 5 times life size at least) figure towering above [[strikethrough]] me [[/strikethrough]] & looking down at me. [[strikethrough]] He had [[/strikethrough]] at 4 a.m. The next a.m. he brought me water to wash with & roosters & ducks & rabbits [[strikethrough]] surrounded [[/strikethrough]] poured in the sunlit door as I got dressed. He told me that he thought I would never be a successful artist because though I had much more talent & ability than Florence I have too many other interests & too rich a life, & that it is foolish to fight that. It discouraged me a lot

[[strikethrough]] SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 27, 1936 [[/strikethrough]]
271st Day 16th Sunday after Trinity 95 Days to come

to hear that [[strikethrough]] & to think that [[/strikethrough]] though it doesn't make much difference because he doesn't realize my attitude. He said Florence has a stupid empty life, & she only tries little things she can do, whereas I try big groups of lions which she would never [[strikethrough]] do I can't I try [[/strikethrough]] attempt & things I can't do yet which reach out of possibility - & will [[strikethrough]] get [[/strikethrough]] only discourage me. Well that is a compliment really - so to hell with his doubts. That a.m. I ate 3 eggs & bacon - which we (he) cooked [[strikethrough]] such swell things & we [[/strikethrough]] so we had a lovely time guzzling [[strikethrough]] it & [[/strikethrough]] talking a blue streak. The awful thing is that the day before he had decided he might be able to care enough about Ida to marry her, & when I stayed he changed completely & began thinking of me as a possibility now that he has money. [[strikethrough]] He [[/strikethrough]] As I drove away he said he could make me happy & to please think hard about it.  I feel terribly selfish to have stayed. Oh hell - I mustn't ever see him alone again. He must marry Ida. If he thinks I am as beautiful as he says he must be really in love - because I am not beautiful. I hope no one finds out I was there - as Me Me wasn't & virtuous though it was it looks terrible.