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[[strikethrough]] TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 17, 1936 [[strikethrough]]
322nd Day  44 Days to come
Cont.

when they left with their impetuousnesses. I sailed [[strikethrough]] on [[/strikethrough]] with Kim & Garry all of yesterday on their lovely 25 ft wavebreaker "Cindarella".  She [[strikethrough]] is a [[/strikethrough]] makes you feel [[strikethrough]] really [[/strikethrough]] as if you were really on the water - & almost makes me think the Landfall is 72 ft too big, & the Barnswallow 40 ft too big. Well no, - I really love the Barnswallow so I take that back. Kim is peaceful & sunburnt from Tahiti - & tonight he & I dined at Lucy's with the Potters - & came back to talk in the bungalo till late. I wonder about [[strikethrough]] it all [[/strikethrough]] that - does he still love me - & how much do I care? 

I speak to Henry on the phone, & get a letter from St J, & a card from J, & read about Kenneth's crew in the paper, & dine with Kim all in the same day, & though every girl [[strikethrough]] has [[/strikethrough]] my age has plenty of gent friends - they couldn't care as much as I do about all of them as I do! I see only certain ones whom I pick very carefully - & then find myself in a hopeless quandary. My cough & codeine are going after sleepless nights often 

[[strikethrough]] WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 18, 1936 [[strikethrough]]
323rd Day 43 Days to come
Aug 20

God damn it - I finally consented to go sailing for a weekend with Paul & mum, after at first refusing, & then having such a conscience that I know I couldn't have borne staying at home & working. I have the most accursed self sufficient court with me - a trial by jury (the jury being my conscience), & if I do anything selfish I get so thoroughly punished by my conscience that I can't enjoy anything or concentrate on any work! Oh well, it wouldn't hurt me to go sailing with them at least once (but this makes twice, & I loathe it) this summer - & they are getting older & I will soon be marrying, & [[strikethrough]] then [[/strikethrough]] so I [[strikethrough]] will [[/strikethrough]] really should do little things to please them. The price is unfair this time though - because it means I risk not having my lions ready for the Stockbridge Exhibition. Then as the most annoying & tantalizing price of all - I was punished for this good deed this a.m. by being invited to dine at Larry Poole's