Viewing page 172 of 193
This transcription has been completed. Contact us with corrections.
[[strikethrough]] FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 27, 1936 [[strikethrough]] 332nd Day 34 Days to come Cont [[strikethrough]] My other requirement [[/strikethrough]] and secondly (requirement for what? For seeing a lot of, & encouraging [[strikethrough]] a lot [[/strikethrough]], though I am honest in not saying I love when I don't) that each wooer loves me above any other girl, & deeply enough to want to marry me. Well what can I do - have no affairs just because I can't find one I love that much in return? I know every girl must go through this - & pretty ones must have a hell of a time - except it may be easier for them because people they don't like enough to make any effort over must flock after them - [[strikethrough]] but [[/strikethrough]] and they are easy to turn down. It is the [[strikethrough]] ones [[/strikethrough]] kind a girl singles out & makes a real effort over that [[strikethrough]] one [[/strikethrough]] she really cares for - & as I [[strikethrough]] am so [[/strikethrough]] love people so much - I pick carefully - & when there is no one making an effort over me, or when they are away, [[strikethrough]] I am [[/strikethrough]] & even while they are near - I am always working hard enough not to become a clinging vine, or even to make any active effort. [[strikethrough]] First I must be interested in a person because he's [[/strikethrough]] My men friends [[strikethrough]] are [[/strikethrough]] must be unique & forceful in some way, & [[strikethrough]] because he is good & [[/strikethrough]] stimulating & cozy & amusing company, & very attractive to me - & I may say all my beaux are that, I am very much attracted & interested in [[strikethrough]] all [[/strikethrough]] [[strikethrough]] SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 28, 1936 [[strikethrough]] 333rd Day 1st Post Office Opened N. Y. 1783 33 Days to come cont those I have now - & they are great friends as well. - I have five heavy beaux, or six if J. Arks is faithful - & I could have more if I was interested enough. I am interested in four others whom I barely know yet - but I care so much about each of the others separately & put so much into these friendships that it is too much for clear thinking [[strikethrough]] even now. [[/strikethrough]] already. I write all this dribble as sort of a vacuum cleaner confession - it is a confession of a childish boy-crazy attitude & a flighty insincerety which I am completely baffled by & utterly ashamed of - & I am getting concieted for no reason whatever. I feel like a siren, just because I have succeeded in getting what I want without beauty, & without losing my heart - but it is nothing to be proud of - & hurting the people I love most will hurt me [[strikethrough]] [[?]] enough [[/strikethrough]] justly in due course. Love - oh hell lower your ugly head! I worked slowly but progressively on the lions today - but how I must work to finish them by next Friday! No more love or daydreaming till then. I continue to play tennis with mum & each shot seems more & more to be born of the womb of grey matterr!
