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[[strikethrough]] THURSDAY, DECEMBER 3, 1936 [[strikethrough]]
338th Day  St. Francis Xavier 28 Days to come
cont.

be seen on Wed. He was sweet- [[strikethrough]] & [[/strikethrough]] but said he is going away thursday until the 16th. God damn it. I didn't know [[strikethrough]] flatness could come [[/strikethrough]] a let down feeling could come on top of extreme worry. Mum just came up to kiss me goodnight all over again because she senses that something is wrong. She is such a comfort, but for once she can't help - because her knowing is the one thing that would make it [[strikethrough]] a painful thing to [[/strikethrough]] hurt someone beside myself. I will try to forget again & be flippant. When P & Mum came back from their weekend she [[strikethrough]] said Paul [[/strikethrough]] described him on the boat coming back [[strikethrough]] as being [[/strikethrough]] with "he was rocked on the bosom of the deep all night" - & I asked if she was the deep. The joke of it is that she is deep! While they were away I dined with Rowlie Stebbins & his swell new wife Edith Parker S - who is ugly but rolling in humour & wisdom & personality - & she can mother him because she is 30 - & he needs that. I hardly dared hope Summy Putnam would be there - & Lu & [[strikethrough]] Lu [[/strikethrough]] Livy went & outside we

[[strikethrough]] FRIDAY, DECEMBER 4, 1936 [[strikethrough]]
339th Day  27 Days to come
cont.

saw that idiot Harry Nicholas's car outside. But there was an extra man too - & his name was Summy Putnam! I flirted my head off with him - & at 1 A.M. when we all got up to leave he took me to Rothmann's for beer until 3 a.m.. All evening he was [[strikethrough]] very [[/strikethrough]] so attentive that Lu says he loves me - but the next day he came over & we played tennis & the piano - & I was tired & he unpoised me by coming unexpectedly - & he left saying we would see each other in October when I move to town - so that was that. I was fascinating - but I am sick of this insecure romantic sort of atmosphere - & I refuse to risk getting infatuated with him which would be too easy. I am going to write Stewart a letter some day, telling him about himself as a teacher & myself as a mental case. Or when he mentions Henry next time I will say it all thus "Why do to persist in teasing Henry & I about each other? You shouldn't have told him what you did because he thinks he has found at lest one normal girl in a world of lunatics -