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Reprinted from
THE SOUTH AFRICAN PILOT

It All Depends On Where You Sit....

The Captain
I am the Captain, I sit on the left,
I'm very skilful and terribly deft,
I suffer in silence when Joe on my right
Makes all his circuits a little too tight.
I never go crook when he drops too much flap,
I like his sweet smile as he says "Sorry, Cap!"
Then bashes the trim with a twist and twirl
As he raves of the virtues and curves of his girl.
I select cruising power and call for "Coarse Pitch,"
Joe grabs the mixture and slams it in "Rich";
When it's time to change tanks Joe turns the wrong tap
When I call for "Gear Up" he drops ten degrees flap.
He's late for the take-off first flight each morning,
I do the run-up while Joe does the yawning; 
He's never quite sure of his check-points or courses,
I fake the log while Joe swats the horses.
When I give him a landing, he gives me the pip
As the tower calls up and says "Stay on the strip"; 
"Ignorant type," says Joe on my right,
Then dates up the hostess for Saturday night.
When the ceiling's right down and I fly on the gauges,
Joe says a prayer and chants "Rock of Ages";
I envy the guy who said "God is my Co,"
Oh what I'd give him to swap him for Joe.

The Co-Pilot
I'm the Co-pilot, I sit on the right,
It's up to me to be quick and bright.
I never talk back, for I have regrets,
I have to remember what the Captain forgets.
I make up the flight plan and study the weather,
Pull up the gear and stand by to feather,
Make out the mail forms and do the reporting,
And fly the old crate while the Captain is courting.
I take the readings and adjust the power,
Put on the heaters when we're in a shower,
I give him his bearings on the darkest of nights,
And doo all the bookwork without any lights.
I call for my Captain and buy him a Coke,
And I always laugh at his corniest joke,
And once in a while when his landings are rusty,
I always come through with "By gosh, but it's gusty!"
So all in all, I'm a general stooge
As I sit on the right of the man I call "Scrooge";
I suppose you think that is past understanding,
But maybe some day he will be me a landing.

FEBRUARY, 1964
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